Home KonoSuba Season 3 Episode 9 - Super Fun Sexy Time

KonoSuba Season 3 Episode 9 - Super Fun Sexy Time

If there’s anything we can learn from KonoSuba season 3 episode 9, it’s that well-paid employees are less likely to take a bribe. I, on the other hand, would easily sell myself for as little as a new Magia Baiser bunny acrylic. So, anyone wanting a plug, unlike the Dustiness Ford butler, my pockets are opened. And with adequate payment, my morals bend like a palm tree in a hurricane.

A Day in the Life of Kazuma

At one time or another, we all wished we could be a bit like someone else. Maybe we’d like someone else’s strength, charisma, or other traits. But we rarely think about the downfalls that come with that specific trait. For example, many of us would like to be like Kazuma. He’s the culmination of millions of years of male evolution. No matter the situation, be it fighting hydras or taking pictures of a dude in lingerie, he rolls with it.

But, when one asks themselves if they could be like Kazuma, it’s not always an easy answer. Personally, I’d have the biggest smile and life-changing joy in my heart if I could bully Lalatina or get frisky with Chris. But those are the good times. What about the bad one? Could I walk away while a buddy of mine is stuck with a pervert in a room? Most likely. And as Kazuma does just that, he’s told that Lalatina is set to marry Lord Alderp, and that leads to a rescue mission.

The Woes of Lalatina

How do you save someone who’s stubbornly backed into a corner? You back them into another corner. But Kazuma, despite his questionable (admirable) personality, doesn’t believe in underhanded methods. So, with the help of Aqua’s several buffs and blessings, he manages to sneak into Lalatina’s room by impersonating a guard and threatening her with revealing her dirty secrets to everyone. And let that be a lesson to all the viewers (and readers): never hide your embarrassing side; it’s just future blackmail. Be upfront about all you do; that way, no one can use it against you.

The moment she opens the door, he pounces on her like a damned Drop-Bear and pins her to the bed. Trying to get a conversation going like that seems sus to me, but between me and Kazuma, he’s the one living his best life, kindly asking Lalatina to show some restraint and talk to him once he lets her go. Instead, she immediately alerts everyone about his presence. But he manages to shake the guards off by impersonating her in the crudest ways.

When they finally talk, it’s revealed that her upcoming marriage is nothing more or less than politics. Her family owes a debt, and she’s the payment. It happens to nobles all the time; it is what it is. Because of that, she doesn’t need any help from him, physical or financial. She’d be better off married, she says. This comes from the person who’s been saved by Kazuma in every other episode. But Kazuma is in luck. Lalatina knows there’s something special that she has that she doesn’t want Lord Alderp to take. The sounds Kazuma made when he realized what she was offering had me laughing so much that I broke my chair.

And what does Kazuma do at this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? He fumbles it by commenting on her abs. Now, incels and alpha-bros may think this is just the author turning out their favorite pervy protag into a herbivore, but it happens. Until the day I give up the ghost, I’ll remember being with a Marisa Tomei clone in West End, Roatan, thinking that the gods finally smiled at me only to have the words, “Goddamn, your muscles are like a rock!” which resulted in me getting struggles instead of cuddles.

KonoSuba Season 3 Episode 9: Escape and Wrap-Up

As Kazuma makes his escape, knowing full well he’ll get pounded like a manga uploader when the publisher finds them, he sneaks into Lalatina’s dad’s room. Instantly understanding what’s happening, Lalatina’s dad proposes that Kazuma elope with her. And at that point, I’m 100% sure that the “god loves everyone equally” phrase is a sham; the dude has favorites. Something that may or may not be important later in this story is Lalatina’s dad revealing that resurrection magic does not work on death by natural causes and healing magic doesn’t aid in diseases. But before there can be a deeper conversation between Kazuma and Lord Dustiness-Ford, Lalatina barges in causing Kazuma to flee alone and injured into the night.

For all the flak we give the KonoSuba gang, they’re actually pretty centered. Given that they’ve managed to defeat several demon king generals, a feat that the best-trained guard and soldiers in the capital struggle with, they could easily take on a few lords. One of Megumi’s explosions could most likely wipe out a whole pursuing army, but I’m guessing the gang’s too chill for that. But, at the very least now, we know the next few episodes are going to be some hype ones.

Screenshots via Crunchyroll
© Natsume Akatsuki, Kurone Mishima / KADOKAWA / KonoSuba Production Committee

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